PEnny DRake

AND lunchtime again....Blog time

2011-11-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

Peanut butter, gluten free bread and lays potato chips.

I know that's what you wanted to know. What I ate for lunch. Highly unimpressive, I'm certain.

Turquoise. If you were wanting to know the color of my underpants. And too much information, if you were not.

In my life, I am coming to a point where I don't gloss over information. Brute honesty. Concise answers. You ask, I'm gonna respond. Unless I don't like your question, then I'm just going to verbally brow-beat you or just ignore you....all up to my mood that day. Being a people-pleaser is becoming less and less necessary for me. An addiction to maintaining other people's happiness is an addiction I'm starting to shake....because not everyone in the world deserves that kind of stress and attention....it just took me this long to realize that and limit those special people to a total that can be counted on one hand.

It's not a bad thing to age, grow up, mature and evolve. But age does mean I'll be hitting the treadmill to burn off those Lays potato chips.

I rap when I run. Cool like that.

Apparently I haven't been on here for 2 years

2011-11-02T13:10:00.000-07:00

Yeah, two years of blogging silence. Well, that's no fun.

I've been here. I've not been queer.

I've simply been cyber-quiet....well, unless you count upwards of 4000 tweets on my twitter. @pennydrake4real if you are a fellow tweep.

So, I'm back. I'm gonna start talking/typing and all that bloggy jazz....mainly because I need a creative outlet and something to do on my lunch breaks at work.

Questions upon Questions...

2009-03-15T12:57:00.001-07:00

How old is the last person you kissed?
7 years old...and my dog Maddie enjoyed every bit of tongue action

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?
Yes, when I was 17 and split my head opened and totaled my car.

Do you want kids?
Do they sell them at Target? And can I return any that don't fit?

If someone liked you right now would you want them to tell you?
I would want them to SHOW me in a monetary fashion. My rent bill=true love.

What woke you up this morning?
Maddie requesting more tongue action

Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you liked?
If I was required to sleep on the floor I most definitely would not like the person responsible for the idea!

Who last called you baby?
My mom..sad, I know.

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a N?
M-A-D-D-I-E Do you see an "N"?

Last thing you touched, not computer-related?
Cup of hot tea....serious addiction....seeking counseling

What's the story behind the nearest stuffed animal?
Sexual needs. Obviously.

Are you judgmental?
Only a jerk would ask that question.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Why so I can be screwed over a second time!?!?!?

What color are your nails painted?
My toe nails are hot pink and girlie

Name something random that's to your left:
set of winter gloves I wear while I work. very cold environment.

Name something random that's to your right:
Lysol Sanitizing Wipes

If there was a pill that enlarged boobs and actually worked, would you spend $500 on it?
I am not in need of any further advancements in my breasts' forward projection.

If you found out a friend was smoking, what would you do?
Pee on them...or spit.

Do you believe in ghosts or haunted houses?
I hope so. I have people I want to haunt after I die.

What made you laugh the hardest today?
When I made a rude comment under my breath to a client and I immediately rammed my knee into a wall. Karma is so FAST sometimes.

What did you do yesterday?
Worked out, ran errands, audition, business meeting, dinner, comatose

What are you doing tonight?
Hanging with my Marti for a movie and some grub

Do you ever get "goodmorning" texts from anyone?
Ha...no, I'm awake before the rest of the world.

Is there a guy/girl that you can go to in sweats, hair messed up, butt naked, or with no teeth and them still not care how you look?
Anyone and everyone. I could give a crap.

Would you ever become a vegetarian?
I like the sound of the slaughtering of animals...makes me think of a good steak.

Are you in a good mood?
I'm in jeans and a shirt.

What's one thing that really annoys you?
needing to pee so much from the over abundance of the hot teas I'm drinking.

Your most recent ex says he/she loves you, what do you say?
This tea is great.

Why did the last person that liked you stop liking you?
they never stop, they merely die

So what's your last text message?
"Hope everything is good."

When is the last time you REALLY smiled?
When I last peed.

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
I tend to snort/laugh.

Do you know anyone named Taylor?
No. Should I? Does this "Taylor" know me?

Are you imagining anyone naked right now?
Me. And Maddie.

Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
Butterflies do not tend to travel well. I prefer a sturdier insect. Ladybugs are nice.

Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex?
It's the only way to have sex.

Splatcademy's Scream Queen of the Year!

2009-02-26T06:54:00.001-08:00

Seems I won...... (my congratulatory email):

"Congratulations Ms. Drake, you have been voted by the fans as "Scream
Queen of the Year" and will win the Splatcademy Award on Monday,
February 23rd presented by Deadlantern. com

We invite you to record an acceptance speech. We'll play it during the awards show.

The Splatcademy Awards, presented by Deadlantern. com's
Splattercast is a celebration of the finest films, actors, and moments
the horror genre had to offer in 2008. We bring together 20 of the top
horror podcasts on the internet to do our own version of the Academy
Awards. The fans voted you as Scream Queen of the Year in the closest
vote we've ever had!

Again, congratulations and we hope you'll
record and audio acceptance speech for all the fans who voted for you.
You can send it to splattercast@gmail.com

MaT
deadlantern. com

p.s. There is an actual trophy for this and if you are interested in one, just let us know what address to send it to."

SO first off, I want to apologize to my fans and Dead Lantern for not getting an acceptance speech recorded in time. I've been a bit preoccupied with the upcoming sketch comedy STAR CHICKS.
I want to thank my fans profusely for going online and voting for me and helping me kick some Scream Queen ass!!! You guys are the best. You never let me down. I am oh so grateful for the constant support and adoration from you guys!!!!

XOXOXOXO
your Scream Queen of the Year
Penny Freakin' Drake

And yeah....I totally sent off for the trophy!

THE COOK ... drinking game

2009-02-25T18:45:00.001-08:00

( I know, me, the straight edge girl posting a drinking game...oh the irony!)
But play it while watching my film, THE COOK.

1 drink – every time you see boobs
1 drink – every time someone smokes something
1 drink – every time someone drinks something
1 drink – every time someone calls someone gay or hits on someone else in a homosexual manner
1 drink – every time someone says "OK"
1 drink – every time someone dies

The Dom Deluise Special: Take a drink every time someone eats something. Drink continuously anytime you see someone holding a plate of food out to someone else.

Original post found at http://www.moviecynics.com/item/1569

Knowing

2009-02-25T09:39:00.001-08:00

While the weight of knowing may crush one's spirit, the instant the knowledge comes to light you can ease the whirlwind of speculation. It's a relief, albeit a painful one. But to know ... to confirm ...to have the steady weight of fact held in your hand .... you can crush it, drop it, pocket it, throw it .... you can do something with that fact. A tangible item, it's within a fact that power is held. So while knowing may feel like a weight has been placed upon your heart, in essence it's a gift. It's an end to paranoia and to ill-placed hope. It's simply the end to a question. You now have the answer. Only thing to do now is spread the truth and through that you shall find freedom, healing and peace of mind. And truth shall help others also know...and make better, well-informed choices not shrouded by lies, deceit and self serving manipulation. Some may choose to not look at the fact, intimidated by the weight of it. And those are weak people who don't deserve to have the knowledge and who truly cares to impart a gift to the weak?

The good will always prevail.

Create, love, move, heal, appreciate and know. Knowing is the best thing that could have been given me.

Words, words, words...

2009-02-15T09:15:00.001-08:00

I am an intelligent creature...I swear by my beloved Frenchie, who farts, that I can add, subtract, email at break neck speed and read a book a week, simply for kicks. Moderately intelligent. I will give myself that...moderately. I feel good about that level, not too generous, but not underestimating the value of what a four year degree earns you....even when I delay that process and take 7 years to finish that degree...I WAS UNDECIDED ON MY MAJOR...ok?

Recently, I have come across the philosophical and over thinkers of our time. I can sit in a room with them and nod my head along with their discussion, interject an "I see" or "well, makes sense." When in all reality, I don't see, I don't even hear...I'm lost on what the meaning of the last 30 syllables that left your mouth were and I'm inconspicuously looking for the damned thesaurus you must be hiding somewhere.

It's when I realize that these fops, these narcissists of their own verbology, have never been called out on how perverse and moronic that they actually sound. And I'm pretty safe at assuming not a single idea that left their mottled brain was actually original....being that they seem to spout many quotes and references and use those bunny ear quotes a lot. I like bunnies. Really do, especially rabid ones.

The crowd that basks in the glow of the overly worded, is too embarrassed that they can't follow, they can't comprehend, they can't truly remember what the discussion is actually about, but could really use some hallucinogenic drugs at this point to watch the speaker's head melt...cause it would simply be more entertaining and remarkable.

God these people bore me and they do it while gleefully believing themselves to be the most interesting creatures on the planet. Hit head on wall, hit head on wall, hit head on wall.

So I've come to the point of where I plan to stand up for my people, the majority, us. The American population has an average intelligence and reading level of third graders. You know why? Cause we have to work, pay bills, we don't desperately cling to what we learned in British Literature or highschool Calculus...cause you know why???? We have things to do and more valuable, lovely things to think upon and we are secure in that indulgence. I, myself, vow to claim ignorance, admit my lack of time spent studying the dictionary while instead I enjoyed the real world (complete with rabid bunnies).

Because if these philosophers actually cared to get their point across. If their main goal was to impress a major point and belief upon the world at large concerning religion, politics or perhaps the sexual practices of the Haitian peoples, as their legacy, then they would surely want to be understood. Instead, it seems that they merely want to hear their magnificent brains pouring from their tea stained lips (cause these people spend hell-of-time sipping hot teas at the local Sbucks). And each superior syllable that eeks past their gaping holes for mouths, challenges me to dare NOT to understand.

Well, I don't...dammit I don't. And I'm not sure I would really care about the topic if I did understand the words spewing from their mouth.

So...to these plunderers of the English language .. the time wasters of life ... the soulless who claim to have souls...the unoriginal who claim to be the MOST unique people ever (what a common statement).... I say to you ....

You are better than a Xanax. You are less exciting than an annual obgyn exam. A speculum has more personality and depth of character than you. You make me want to rip your face off and feed it to my lovely rabid bunnies whose sheer existence is a larger mark on society than your own.

And to you who actually listen to this drivel and revel in it, you are just as vapid. Go get a life. Find the philosophy of existing and maybe, just maybe, you will create your own life epiphany…and I swear when you do, the best and grandest of life's discoveries comes in the words of children, the colors from a crayon box and humbling experiences of the common man.

50 Random Questions

2009-02-15T08:01:00.001-08:00

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes. My grandmother on my Mother's side. Her maiden name was Penny. There's a whole Penny family reunion. There's half a dozen of us who ended up with it as a first name. We sit in a sullen group in the back of the reunion and sulk about it.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Probably a week ago. Sometimes a girl just has to cry.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
My handwriting has been compared to that of a chicken's scratch. I can read it just fine, prob cause I'm part poultry.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Freshly shaved turkey straight from the bird....that processed, overly sodium filled stuff is crap.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
One furry baby named Maddie, who has four legs and her mother's smile. Amber is also her mother. Maddie has two mommies.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Friends with benefits...yeah.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
It's the only thing I use.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes. Why? Have you heard that they are planning to leave me?!?!?! Plotting bitches.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I am right now.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
I like Corn Pops. Crunchy, sweet, a vibrant yellow color. I will NOT eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I once ate a bowl full of ants with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The room was dark and I thought the ants were floating cinnamon pieces. I was very, very mistaken. Still traumatized.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No, cause that would be effort.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Something peanut buttery with chocolate...but no nuts. I'm an avid believer that ice cream should not crunch. The thought bothers me.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
If they're naked...cause it's pretty obvious if they are.

15. RED OR PINK?
Well, my hair is red...so I'm gonna go with pink cause I'm all kinds of girlie with the pink.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Nothing. I'm perfect. Refer to #7 above.

17. WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My mom, my sis and her kids. The simple love of family.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
No. Cause as much as I expect them to read mine. I definitely won't be wasting my time reading theirs. This is a retardedly long list.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Boring blue jeans with my tan UGGs cause my work is like an iceberg.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Piped in music overhead. I have the channel set to 17, which is dance.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
I could never be a crayon...I'M HUMAN...what kind of stupid question is this?

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Dryer sheets. I freakin' love dryer sheets.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My grandmother...the one I'm named after. She wanted to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day. Yeah, thanks to those of you who DIDN'T call or text. YOU NEVER LOVED ME!

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
omg...college football. LOVE IT! Hook 'em HORNS!

27. HAIR COLOR?
Well, I was born a blond...YAWN...so I've been a ravishing redhead for over 9 years.

28. EYE COLOR?
The easy answer is blue...but in reality they are the color of the sky right after a nice cool rain has swept through and the world feels clean and remade....yeah....that's my eye color.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Have to. I'm legally blind without them. When they do the eye chart, I can't see the big E. It's quite pathetic. Severe astigmatisms too.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
A nice, well seasoned, medium well steak. Should be pink inside....and feel like velvet on the tongue.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I'm all up for a happy ending....what does that have to do with scary movies? I'm confused by this question.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
"Coraline" 3-D It was alright, but not as great as it was hyped up to be.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Boring grey sweatshirt that says "Hard Rock Austin, TX" on it. Freezing.

34. SEASON?
Well, apparently LA is still in the winter season. And it's been raining. And I'm not really happy about the situation. The weather needs to go back to 80 and sunny ASAP.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs...transfer of body heat would be great right now...as to the aforementioned freezing status.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
People who are REALLY bored or stuck at work like me.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
People who have a life and get frustrated by the "What kind of crayon are you?" I mean, really, that is a completely moronic question.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Been reading a werewolf series written by Keri Arthur.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I think it's bubbles...it's at home. I don't have a mouse pad at work.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Sober House....omg...I love that show.

42. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
My dog's snore. Relaxes me. Also any kind of "white noise" puts me to sleep.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Ah jeez, tough call. This was before my time, so I'm declaring lack of musical knowledge prevents me from being able to make an educated choice. You can blame my parents and their "no secular music" rules while I was growing up.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Probably now living in LA. I haven't traveled much. My inability to become a crayon has hindered me in the traveling realm.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I have recently been told that I have the ability to make people feel very comfortable. I think it's my pillowy breasts that are the cause of this...so warm, so soft, so pillow like.

46 WHERE WERE U BORN?
In a hospital like most normal people. San Antonio, TX...where real salsa comes from...although we probably stole the recipe from the Mexicans.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
As I said above, I'm too lazy to read anyone's.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Don't make me punch you.

49. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO RUN AWAY WITH?
Amber and Louise....I want my tiny blond posse to go round the world and create havoc and mayhem and get people really drunk and draw on them with Sharpies.

50. PERSON YOU SHARE YOUR SECRETS WITH?
My dog Maddie....she knows everything. Good thing she can't talk...or really think...or really process what the hell Mommy is saying. I love my dumb dog.

My Senior Year of Highschool

2009-02-09T17:21:00.000-08:00

1. Who was your best friend?
First god ... then Kara .. I still keep track of both. But god just isn't really good at returning emails and phone calls....got a bit of a big head now.

2.What sports did you play?
My senior year???? not really the sporty type ... but found out that the backseats of cars can be quite roomy.

3. What kind of car did you drive?
P.O.S. car (piece-of-shit) especially after I got in a wreck, totaled it and split my head open...nice backseat though

4. Friday night where were you at?
Me and god went around punishing the popular kids by giving them zits and STDs with a flick of a wand.

5. Were you a party animal?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha .... seriously people, no one invited me to parties... god had a few in heaven, but that was such a long trip and then I had a curfew and well, there was just no way to go.

6. Were you considered a flirt?
My flirting was stunted to remain at 3rd grade level...so I threw rocks at the cute boys....they weren't so much into that, but my aim improved each year.

7. Ever skip school?
ummmmm....no, I could never been as cool to skip school and if I had, I would have just gone to the convenience store across the street in case I might miss something.

8. Were you a nerd?
Yes, yes and triple yes...total loser, nerd, academia was my specialty ... then I had my brain re-planted into my breast and life got easier.

10. Can you sing the fight song?
oh, god, no....couldn't then, wouldn't care to now.

11. Who was your favorite teacher?
Ms. Wayne .. looked like the lady from THROW MAMA FROM THE TRAIN and I was one of her favorites. I think she knew I was not very popular and took pity on me in her physics class. Hey, I could throw rocks...the teachers better be nice.

12. Favorite class?
Art....could make all kinds of crap w/o effort and people thought I was genius.

13. What was your school's full name?
Then it was VICTORIA HIGH SCHOOL...yes, I am so old my school's name has changed.

14. School mascot?
Stingray....a freakin' stingray...how lame is that??? Just toss it out of water and it DIES!!!! Yeah, real threatening. But I did help paint the updated version on the basketball court during my time in the joint.

15. Did you go to Prom?
Only my senior prom. It was the first dance I ever went to. I am sure that I looked like a total nut job on the dance floor. My date wouldn't even dance with me.

16. If you could go back and do it over, would you?
Yes, I would go back and beat the crap out of anyone who gives me shit. I am much more confident and aggressive now and I can be quite frightening. Is that hostility I have here??? Lets just say I was bullied quite a bit....still lived by the standard of turn the other cheek...yeah, well, I'm out of cheeks to be turned.

17. What do you remember most about graduation?
That my sister did my hair all Barbie doll like and I actually looked pretty.

18. Favorite memory of your Senior Year?
When a jock named Brian (who bullied me A LOT) came up to me during passing period and was actually trying to hit on me! Ha ha...I just left him standing there by himself looking stupid.

19. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall?
The what???? We never had a senior wall ... or hell we could have and I just didn't know it. I know people wrote in the bathroom stalls ... but I wasn't cool enough to make it on them.

20. Did you have a job your senior year?
Yep, worked since I was 15. But at that time just during the summer as a lifeguard ... I was pretty hot at the city pool. It was on the other side of town AWAY from my classmates.

21. Where did you go most often for lunch?
Go? You could go places? I was always in the cafeteria eating the absolute worst possible diet ever. I was always sick during my next class, which happened to be pottery. I know my way around a kiln.

22. Have you gained weight since then?
Actually lost weight ... did runway in New York. Then came back to TX and decided to start eating right and working out. So I am nice and fit with a 6-pack.

23. What did you do after graduation?
College ... oh, god, college forever ... plus modeling in New York and Houston.

24. When did you graduate?
Ha ha ... you can only guess.

25. Where are most of your classmates?
Well, a couple of them I keep in touch with .. the ones that were nice to me for the years that they knew my nerdy self. And the rest can be in hell for all I care. There's that hostility again. I swear I am seeking professional treatment.

26. Are you going to your ten year reunion?
Nope. Too hostile. Bad memories. It does stay with you for your lifetime. I am seeking peace in my career in LA.

27. Who was your home room teacher?
If I had one, I don't remember.

28. Who will enjoy this blog?
Hopefully all the other losers who like myself, need to express some aggression and angst and who most likely have a weekly session with a psychiatrist.

(originally posted Aug. 29, 2006)